I originally posted this here on IndieHackers.
Firstly, I’d like to say that I am very grateful to even have the ability to contemplate leaving a big fancy titled job and salary. This is a very good problem to have as there are many more problems people face than being unhappy with their job. I am grateful for my opportunities and for the life I’ve lived so far.
That aside, I found myself miserable every day, and cranky, hating the work I was doing. I had zero motivation to get out of bed each morning and go into the office (back when we were doing such things). But I managed to force myself up each day and go to work. One day, I was acting in a manner that I find unacceptable: cranky, short-tempered, and not treating others the way I wanted to be treating others. It made me stop to think, why am I acting this way? What is wrong with how I’m feeling that I am not behaving in a manner consistent with my core values?
I started to think about where I’ve been, and what I was currently doing. I went from helping to build and grow a small company to being thrust into a large, multinational corporation after an acquisition. When I was first hired on to that small company it was a blast helping to lead it through the challenges of startup life, survival mode, long working hours, and doing everything from product development to customer support, to business development, and even HR. After the acquisition, I now had no control of my destiny and I was trying to determine which levers I could pull to make something (anything!) happen.
I went from productive and empowered, to basically someone who updates excel spreadsheets, communicates status, and talks in meetings all day long; essentially getting no real work done. I spent more brainpower understanding politics and internal matrix organizational dynamics than solving customer problems or using my engineering skills. I felt like a robot on autopilot and like I was accomplishing nothing. I couldn’t believe this is what “executive” level work was. I was no longer building anything. I was no longer working with customers to solve problems. I was no longer building an awesome team to do awesome things. I was a cog in the corporate machine. This could have just been the corporate culture in the organization I was acquired into, but as I looked around at other big companies, I felt that we weren’t all that dissimilar.
I do want to be clear here, though. The company I was working for was great, doing great things. I have nothing against the organization I worked for and I don’t want to come across like it was the organization’s issue. I worked with some amazing people, got to travel the world, and had some great experiences. I just found that the environment I was in was not the right environment for me. I am sure that there are a lot of individuals that would have loved my job, and loved to have done what I was doing. I was just not happy doing it.
After much deliberation, and getting over the fear of stepping away from a nice comfortable salary, with benefits, into the unknown, along with the mental adjustment of “this is what I was supposed to be doing” and the rest of the world would think I’m crazy for leaving; I left. It took about 6 months to finally pull the trigger. After all, I had bonded with the people I had worked with at the small company and who were still my team through the acquisition.
I took a quick break as I was burnt out, but then quickly started working with some friends around me who were running their own small businesses and I saw areas where I knew I could help. Sure it was a completely different world than the one I was in (I was in Nuclear Energy and shifted to data analytics focused on small businesses), but I was having fun again solving problems and working with people to build something.
I will say that financially, I set myself up for such a move. I have never subscribed to competing with the neighbors and buying the biggest fanciest house or car, or always having to have the hottest gadgets. Living beneath my means, which was quite comfortable, enabled me to save and invest in a manner such that I could afford to take up to 3 years off with no salary as I bootstrapped my company. I’m still in that process, and there is a bit of stress in the background in that I need to be making money soon, but that stress does not outweigh how happy I’ve been over the last few years.
When I think about what I may be thinking towards the end of my existence, I know I will not regret leaving that fancy job, nor will I regret not buying whatever that fancy salary could have afforded me. But I would regret not taking the chance. If it doesn’t work out I know I will be fine, I can find a job or shift to something else.
I hope my perspective was helpful.
Good luck to anyone thinking about doing the same.
